Date: 2018-02-10 01:02
After years and years of internalizing the beauty standard promoted all around me, I headed off to college with a low self-esteem and essentially no sense of self-worth.
When you look at the role models of my youth, the people and products the media put forth and said, “This is beauty personified,” you’ll notice a distinct theme: Barbie, Britney Spears, Polly Pocket, Sailor Moon, Mandy Moore, Mary Kate and Ashley — all white. I was fully submerged, I mean genuinely immersed, in a culture where people like me weren’t valued as beautiful, so much so that I remember wishing the thick, coarse hair on my American Girl doll, Addy , was straighter and “prettier,” like that of my other dolls.
It’s assumed that that everyone belonging to that group thinks and behaves the same way, but that is never – ever – the case.
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When I first read Miles' opinions, I was surprised, until I looked into the comments section and saw readers seriously advocating for solely dating within one's race.
"But as a man, you know, you always have to play it safe in general and not assume anything. All you can do is wait for the right moment and see how the woman feels about it. In my case, it worked out well." Peter noted, "I found the right woman, and she's it for me. She's become the light of my life. I just really love her."
"I have also always noticed that black women are friendlier to me than white women -- more open to conversation without writing me off." Belinda says she has always "been attracted to white guys. I like their features, especially if they have blue eyes, and the lightness of their skin."
If you answered no to these questions and you think those assumptions on black womanhood are downright absurd (hint: they are), then perhaps you are well on your way to showing a black woman that you want to date a complete person and not a stereotype!
When getting to know a black woman, don’t ask them to be the authority on black culture. Don’t ask us “Why do black people like or do _____?” You can’t expect one person to know all things black culture.